Feeling down and scared

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Isi-Daddy's avatar
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I'm so afraid right now... Everyday I see other artists being able to work on their own stories and art projects all day long and then there is me..


About a year ago (it was in February 2016) I told you I'm working on my story for a webcomic and it will be released 2017/2018. I don't know what I was thinking. I barely have the plot. I mean I have some major plot points but I still have to fill in the gaps and those are no gaps for which I could say I fill them while drawing/creating.

I also don't really know all of my characters. Which is why you mainly see Avarus and Saira in my gallery right now... 
I also don't know which traits/skills and other secrets I should tell. I actually don't want to tell anything to surprise you but on the other hand if I'll start drawing that story in - I don't know - 5 years, I guess that people may lose interest so I have to tell you more about my characters. I don't know if it's enough to show their personality throughout my pictures?!

Another fact is: I'm always short of time, I'll be sitting at university for at least 6h a day and I also have to go working to gain money. I still draw every evening but for the last month I wasn't even able to think about developing my plot any further... I also thought I would have finished the script of my short story "Watery Grave" which I want to publish in March next year for the Leipzig Bookfair which I want to attend as an artist.

I also read that if I would apply as an artist at a publisher here I'm not allowed to upload my comic anywhere which would be very pitiful because most of my friends and people who are interested in it aren't from Germany.
There is one publisher who may accept uploading the comic but since it's a small publisher they only want a series of max 6 volumes. I really don't know how many volumes my story will have... Maybe I'll just ask them to publish my short story which will only be one volume.


I'm so done... I thought I would have finally beaten those anxious thoughts but maybe it's because a new manga by a German artist will be released tomorrow and I've read some of her working processes of her last few years. And she is not the only one, there are some other German artists who got published in the last few months...  I just wish I would have time only for drawing.

Thanks for reading and good night!
Isi~

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elycesity's avatar
aaaaa im really late at reading this, and hopefully, you're feeling better now? :) //hugs// I've read like the comments down there, and most of them were really well-said ahahaha~ I dunno how to say it better, and well, if I did try, it'll look redundant and stuff and im babbling oops sorry about that. But well, I'm still gonna try so heRE I gO.

I guess it's okay to feel down and scared for this, and that kinda sounds bad cuz since when did it became okay to feel negative but hey, this is your dream we're talking about anyway. And possibly your future. So yeah! For me it's okay to feel bad on this and it's okay to be a lil hard on yourself on this, so don't feel bad on feeling bad about this, okay? Just don't feel too much bad, cuz honestly, it would just never help.

anywaaay um. I dunno where I'm going with this but---yooooo, you have a long life ahead of you. It kinda seems unfair and scary now, it seems like you're just walking towards some unknown destination, and even though you're trying your hardest, others surpasses you in a way that it seemed as easy as breathing air. But remember, no one knows what the future really is, even you. I guess for me, it just happens, and you deal with it the best you can to have the better outcome.

Um, don't be afraid to take your time! Even if your story is like falling apart, and your characters seem to be--well, just there, know that no one else can make that story. Your ideas won't exist until you make them exist, and nobody could appreciate your ideas until you make them exist. With that said, no one is really pushing you to make them exist right away. You have your own story to tell, just like the people you mentioned up there. It just so happens you need more time than them to get ready. What matters the most is the end card anyway, so who cares if they succeed first? You'll eventually do, just keep doing it and well--take your time. It's so much better than to submit a half-assed something (trust me i do that a lot)

It'll start off hard, usually it does, but maybe by pulling some strings and just do whatever it takes, maybe you can do it. Besides by what I see, you have lots of people here that supports you so much. It's okay to fall down once in a while, we'll catch you. Just repay us the favor of standing back up and making us proud <3

You're one of the kindest and awesomest (lol wat) artists I met. Just don't give up~! And also, I really hope I helped even a little bit ;;__;; I know I'm late at this, so you prolly won't need this and I guess this was already said by someone out there but--yeah. Also, I'm not that good at comforting people, and most of the time, I just ramble on and on, and well--I usually get off track or say things that don't really make much sense. I just wanted to help, like the way you did for me before so yeah ohohohoo;;;

I wish you luck, Isi-chan! qwq Mwaaa <3 //scrambles off//